1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?
2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?
3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?
4. if you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?
5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)
6.25.2009
6.23.2009
Song Of The Moment
One of my favorite groups, Reflection Eternal, is back together again and dropping an new CD later this year. Check out the first single. Can anybody tell me who the sister is on the hook?
6.16.2009
6.11.2009
Crazy Is The New Sexy
The year was 1990. I was doing a summer internship at the Boeing Company in Seattle (Technically, it was Renton but y’all do not know anything about that). Anyway, my dude AB’s mom gives me a call and says that a young female friend of the family is in town for the summer and interning with Boeing as well. The girl was a member of Jack & Jill along with AB and his little sister. AB’s mom wanted to know if would mind hanging out with her and showing her around town until she made some friends at work. I was a little apprehensive about it because if she was wack I would have to figure out a way to ditch her without having AB’s mom call my mom and tell her how trifling her son was. In addition, I was just beginning to gain my confidence and come into my own. With a little money in my pocket from the internship, I had plans of getting my Mack on big time that summer. All of this went through my head in the thirty seconds between her asking the question and my reply, “No ma’am, I would love to show her around.”
That Saturday morning, I hit the barbershop and then headed out to AB’s crib to meet this chick for the first time. Mind you, I was gaining confidence but was not comfortable around women, especially attractive ones. When I rang the doorbell, I could feel a trickle of sweat going down the center of my back. It was only about 70 degrees that day. Lump in my throat as she opened the door. Standing in front of me was one of the most attractive young women I had ever seen and she was smiling in my direction. I extended my hand, “Hi. I’m Krush!” She said, “Terri. Nice to meet you. I guess you are going to be my tour guide, huh?” This was going to be a good summer.
For the next several weeks, Terri and I hung out almost every day. She worked in a different location than I did but we would meet up for lunch along with our fellow interns. After work, we would go out for dinner or go shopping with our newly earned money. Terri turned out to be a cool chick that was into hip-hop, sneakers, and partying. She was also a big freak that wanted to get it in every chance she could. Yeah, it was a good summer. At least it started out that way.
I have a theory about attractive women that says the more attractive a woman is the more issues she will have. I got that theory from this summer and this woman. One of the signs that I ignored about Terri was that she would spazz out about the smallest things. For example, she had rented a car for the summer and had some trouble with it. I went with her to the rental place to exchange it for a different car. The place only had a few cars on the lot that were set aside for long-term rental. I guess none of them fit her style but she had no choice but to select something from what was available. I help her pick a car and we drive off the lot. No more than a block from the place, she starts crying and talking about she wants to go home to AZ. I am like, “It isn’t that bad. At least you aren’t catching the bus.” Why did I say that? She becomes even more hysterical and pulls over to a gas station to use the pay phone (When was the last time you used a pay phone?) and proceeded to call her mother and pitch a fit like an eight year old. Her mom even wanted to talk to me because Terri was not able to get the entire story out. At that point, I should have distanced myself but I felt sorry for her being alone and the sex was good. (That brings up another theory about crazy women having the best bedroom game)
As the summer progresses, she made other friends, in fact I heard some wild stories about her and a threesome. However, we still got together occasionally to do the damn thing. It was not anything exclusive so I did not think too much about it when I started seeing someone else. One particular Saturday, I went shopping with another intern from North Carolina A&T. It was one of those all day dates that included lunch, shopping, and a movie. This is before I ever had a cell phone or a pager. It turns out that Terri was trying to get in contact with me the entire day. She had called the house a couple times and called some of the other interns to see if I was hanging with them. By the time I reached my house, my mother appeared concerned and informed me that Terri had just left and that she seemed upset about something. She also informed me that my friend, Corey, had called and said that Terri had called him asking about my whereabouts. Okay, I already knew this chick was not wrapped too tight and my mom had confirmed my belief after their initial meeting. Just then, the doorbell rings. I open the door to Terri standing on the porch with hands on hips and an evil look in her eye. “I need to talk to you! Can we take a walk?”
As a young man, I thought I was invincible so there was no fear in my heart when I stepped out on the porch with her. We headed down my street to the park. Before I was more than one foot off my driveway, my mom appeared in the window above the garage, “Where are you going?” I told her that I was just walking to the park and would be right back. She was not pleased with my decision but she did not say anything else. I knew that she would be watching me from the window anyway. We walked in silence until we made it to the park and sat down on one of the tables near the tennis courts. I purposely picked the table that could be seen from my house.
“So where you been all day?”
“First, how are you doing?”
“I’m a little pissed off right now to be honest with you. I feel like you are trying to play me.”
“What are you talking about? Play you how?”
“Who were you with today?”
“A friend. Why? You asking questions like we are a couple or something.”
“I know we aren’t but I thought we were trying to build something here.”
“Look. It is the summer. When August gets here, you will go your way and I will be on the other side of the country. We are just having fun.”
Why did I say that? Next thing I know, she has a knife in her hand. To this day, I cannot tell you where it came from but there it was and she was looking at me with bad intentions. So I jump up and start moving backwards.
“What are you doing?”
She did not respond. Instead, she started walking out of the park and back up the street. We walked in silence as I trailed her up the block. She got into her car and sped off. As I entered the house, my mother greeted me at the door with, “I told you that child was crazy!”
Questions of the day: What are the signs you are dealing with someone crazy? Have you ever had a fatal attraction experience? Why do crazy people have the best sex?
NOTE: CL is the exception to the attractive women are crazy rule!
That Saturday morning, I hit the barbershop and then headed out to AB’s crib to meet this chick for the first time. Mind you, I was gaining confidence but was not comfortable around women, especially attractive ones. When I rang the doorbell, I could feel a trickle of sweat going down the center of my back. It was only about 70 degrees that day. Lump in my throat as she opened the door. Standing in front of me was one of the most attractive young women I had ever seen and she was smiling in my direction. I extended my hand, “Hi. I’m Krush!” She said, “Terri. Nice to meet you. I guess you are going to be my tour guide, huh?” This was going to be a good summer.
For the next several weeks, Terri and I hung out almost every day. She worked in a different location than I did but we would meet up for lunch along with our fellow interns. After work, we would go out for dinner or go shopping with our newly earned money. Terri turned out to be a cool chick that was into hip-hop, sneakers, and partying. She was also a big freak that wanted to get it in every chance she could. Yeah, it was a good summer. At least it started out that way.
I have a theory about attractive women that says the more attractive a woman is the more issues she will have. I got that theory from this summer and this woman. One of the signs that I ignored about Terri was that she would spazz out about the smallest things. For example, she had rented a car for the summer and had some trouble with it. I went with her to the rental place to exchange it for a different car. The place only had a few cars on the lot that were set aside for long-term rental. I guess none of them fit her style but she had no choice but to select something from what was available. I help her pick a car and we drive off the lot. No more than a block from the place, she starts crying and talking about she wants to go home to AZ. I am like, “It isn’t that bad. At least you aren’t catching the bus.” Why did I say that? She becomes even more hysterical and pulls over to a gas station to use the pay phone (When was the last time you used a pay phone?) and proceeded to call her mother and pitch a fit like an eight year old. Her mom even wanted to talk to me because Terri was not able to get the entire story out. At that point, I should have distanced myself but I felt sorry for her being alone and the sex was good. (That brings up another theory about crazy women having the best bedroom game)
As the summer progresses, she made other friends, in fact I heard some wild stories about her and a threesome. However, we still got together occasionally to do the damn thing. It was not anything exclusive so I did not think too much about it when I started seeing someone else. One particular Saturday, I went shopping with another intern from North Carolina A&T. It was one of those all day dates that included lunch, shopping, and a movie. This is before I ever had a cell phone or a pager. It turns out that Terri was trying to get in contact with me the entire day. She had called the house a couple times and called some of the other interns to see if I was hanging with them. By the time I reached my house, my mother appeared concerned and informed me that Terri had just left and that she seemed upset about something. She also informed me that my friend, Corey, had called and said that Terri had called him asking about my whereabouts. Okay, I already knew this chick was not wrapped too tight and my mom had confirmed my belief after their initial meeting. Just then, the doorbell rings. I open the door to Terri standing on the porch with hands on hips and an evil look in her eye. “I need to talk to you! Can we take a walk?”
As a young man, I thought I was invincible so there was no fear in my heart when I stepped out on the porch with her. We headed down my street to the park. Before I was more than one foot off my driveway, my mom appeared in the window above the garage, “Where are you going?” I told her that I was just walking to the park and would be right back. She was not pleased with my decision but she did not say anything else. I knew that she would be watching me from the window anyway. We walked in silence until we made it to the park and sat down on one of the tables near the tennis courts. I purposely picked the table that could be seen from my house.
“So where you been all day?”
“First, how are you doing?”
“I’m a little pissed off right now to be honest with you. I feel like you are trying to play me.”
“What are you talking about? Play you how?”
“Who were you with today?”
“A friend. Why? You asking questions like we are a couple or something.”
“I know we aren’t but I thought we were trying to build something here.”
“Look. It is the summer. When August gets here, you will go your way and I will be on the other side of the country. We are just having fun.”
Why did I say that? Next thing I know, she has a knife in her hand. To this day, I cannot tell you where it came from but there it was and she was looking at me with bad intentions. So I jump up and start moving backwards.
“What are you doing?”
She did not respond. Instead, she started walking out of the park and back up the street. We walked in silence as I trailed her up the block. She got into her car and sped off. As I entered the house, my mother greeted me at the door with, “I told you that child was crazy!”
Questions of the day: What are the signs you are dealing with someone crazy? Have you ever had a fatal attraction experience? Why do crazy people have the best sex?
NOTE: CL is the exception to the attractive women are crazy rule!
5.15.2009
Friday Flashback
This is my all-time favorite Coltrane song. Dude was a monster and his entire band was too.
5.13.2009
10 Ways Guys Mess Things Up
How many of these have I made? Let’s just say you need both hands to count them. Am I the only one who just can’t get right?
Ten Relationships Mistakes Men Make (and Just How Many Violations Do I Have):
1.Giving a woman too much power – If the woman is determining when you go out, when you make love, or who you can be friends with then that relationship isn’t going to last very long. A brother has to know his own worth and act accordingly. In one of those 80-20 scenarios, it is as if you do not feel worthy of the woman and you will do anything she says to keep her happy. Big mistake. Truth be told, she does not want to be in control either but she will do it if you do not step up to the plate.
2.Trying to invoke too much of your own control – As much as you should not give up all the control to your woman, you should not try to be too in control yourself. Nobody loves a tyrant. Finding a nice balance is essential to making a healthy happy relationship.
3.Believing that the good you do today will last until tomorrow – Despite what women say, you cannot build up goodwill that you can cash in whenever you mess up. The flowers and candy you gave her the other day do not mean anything today when you did not call her until the next morning after a night out with your friends.
4.Being domineering or overly possessive – No woman likes the overly jealous type or being told what to do. Even though she wants you to lead, she still wants to be treated with respect and as an equal. The funny thing is that I know women who do not think a guy really cares unless he gets jealous.
5.Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the relationship - Opinions are like _____ and everybody has one. In the end, it is the couple’s decisions that matter and neither family nor friends should be influencing the direction of your relationship.
6.Always kissing up – Outside of the basic level of respect that you give all women, everything else must be earned. Do not place your SO on such a high pedestal that she does not remember the ground. This goes back to knowing your worth.
7.Complacency - Being tenacious and goal-oriented is all a woman wants in her man. You do not have to have the world (but she would love it if you did) yet. Show some progress and things will be fine.
8.Choosing a woman based on appearance alone – Yeah, she’s fine but does she make sense when she talks…are you compatible…what are her goals and ambitions? Guys can get caught up in the imagery that comes along with a woman and forget to look for the important things.
9.Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate - This includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals, your car, or your hobbies. If a woman feels like something or someone is more important to you than she is then she won’t hear anything you are trying to say.
10.Yielding to temptation from other women - For some reason, there are women who go after men that are already attached. Recognize those women and steer clear of them if you can. This might be number 10 but it is the easiest way to end up a victim of a Waiting to Exhale moment.
Ten Relationships Mistakes Men Make (and Just How Many Violations Do I Have):
1.Giving a woman too much power – If the woman is determining when you go out, when you make love, or who you can be friends with then that relationship isn’t going to last very long. A brother has to know his own worth and act accordingly. In one of those 80-20 scenarios, it is as if you do not feel worthy of the woman and you will do anything she says to keep her happy. Big mistake. Truth be told, she does not want to be in control either but she will do it if you do not step up to the plate.
2.Trying to invoke too much of your own control – As much as you should not give up all the control to your woman, you should not try to be too in control yourself. Nobody loves a tyrant. Finding a nice balance is essential to making a healthy happy relationship.
3.Believing that the good you do today will last until tomorrow – Despite what women say, you cannot build up goodwill that you can cash in whenever you mess up. The flowers and candy you gave her the other day do not mean anything today when you did not call her until the next morning after a night out with your friends.
4.Being domineering or overly possessive – No woman likes the overly jealous type or being told what to do. Even though she wants you to lead, she still wants to be treated with respect and as an equal. The funny thing is that I know women who do not think a guy really cares unless he gets jealous.
5.Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the relationship - Opinions are like _____ and everybody has one. In the end, it is the couple’s decisions that matter and neither family nor friends should be influencing the direction of your relationship.
6.Always kissing up – Outside of the basic level of respect that you give all women, everything else must be earned. Do not place your SO on such a high pedestal that she does not remember the ground. This goes back to knowing your worth.
7.Complacency - Being tenacious and goal-oriented is all a woman wants in her man. You do not have to have the world (but she would love it if you did) yet. Show some progress and things will be fine.
8.Choosing a woman based on appearance alone – Yeah, she’s fine but does she make sense when she talks…are you compatible…what are her goals and ambitions? Guys can get caught up in the imagery that comes along with a woman and forget to look for the important things.
9.Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate - This includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals, your car, or your hobbies. If a woman feels like something or someone is more important to you than she is then she won’t hear anything you are trying to say.
10.Yielding to temptation from other women - For some reason, there are women who go after men that are already attached. Recognize those women and steer clear of them if you can. This might be number 10 but it is the easiest way to end up a victim of a Waiting to Exhale moment.
5.06.2009
TMI: What's Your Fantasy
1. Have you ever bought a membership to a porn site? If yes, what is the most recent one and did you like it?
2. Would you rather watch a erotic/porn movie, read a story, or listen to an audio? Why?
3. If you have a significant other what do you do for each other to get in the mood? If you don't what would you kind of thing could a future potential long term partner do to get you in the mood?
4. When it comes to sex, how much do you talk about it with others? How comfortable are you talking about sex?
5. What are the last 5 things you search for on Google (or another search engine)?
Bonus: Have you ever had a fantasy that you were ashamed of?
2. Would you rather watch a erotic/porn movie, read a story, or listen to an audio? Why?
3. If you have a significant other what do you do for each other to get in the mood? If you don't what would you kind of thing could a future potential long term partner do to get you in the mood?
4. When it comes to sex, how much do you talk about it with others? How comfortable are you talking about sex?
5. What are the last 5 things you search for on Google (or another search engine)?
Bonus: Have you ever had a fantasy that you were ashamed of?
4.24.2009
This is My Joint!
4.23.2009
FRESH for '09.....You Suckas!
How do you keep a relationship hot? Make sure that you and your baby don't get bored with one another? You ask enough people and you will find that the one thing all of them will say is that you need to have your own life so that you can bring something to the table. Outside interests, circle of friends, and family should never suffer when you are in a relationship. The funny part is that as solid as this advice is, I didn't pay attention to it. Let my relationship take up all my time and never set aside time for me. Bad idea!
So step two of Operation Get My Swagger Back is getting a life. The plan is to get back into my writing, go back to school, hang with my friends, travel, and enjoy life. Its really all about the simple things though like being happy with me. Lately, I have been beating myself up for what I am not. Like Kanye says though, "everything I am not makes me everything I am.". Got to embrace the good and the bad.
How do you express your individuality within a relationship? What things do you do just for yourself that don't include your mate? How do you maintain a good balance between individual growth and the collective growth?
So step two of Operation Get My Swagger Back is getting a life. The plan is to get back into my writing, go back to school, hang with my friends, travel, and enjoy life. Its really all about the simple things though like being happy with me. Lately, I have been beating myself up for what I am not. Like Kanye says though, "everything I am not makes me everything I am.". Got to embrace the good and the bad.
How do you express your individuality within a relationship? What things do you do just for yourself that don't include your mate? How do you maintain a good balance between individual growth and the collective growth?
4.17.2009
4.06.2009
OGMSB: What's Your Passion?
This past weekend, CL and I were sitting down watching some television and ended up seeing an episode of Tough Love on VH-1. One of the women was explaining to the host why she wasn't interested in dating a guy and that was because he hadn't really expressed his passion in life (what he was working towards) to her on any of the dates. She said he must not be ambitious. Obviously, that's an important trait for a potential mate. It made me start thinking about what my passion in life is at this point. And then I thought that I shouldn't really have to think about something that I am passionate about. It should be on my mind all the time. Maybe I need more help than I thought. Anyway, I'm still brainstorming.
What are y'all passionate about? Do you feel that you are making good progress towards that goal?
What are y'all passionate about? Do you feel that you are making good progress towards that goal?
4.03.2009
3.31.2009
Operation Get My Swagger Back
Yesterday was a good day primarily because I decided to work on those things that I can control. Number one among those things is my mental outlook. Instead of focusing on the negative, I decided to embrace the good things. It is still hard for me to not take bad stuff personally but one step at a time. So that makes today the second day of Operation Get My Swagger Back.
Trying to figure out how I am going to make it happen. Stop getting in my own way. Start counting my blessings. Great relationship, good family, employed, and healthy. That means that today is a chance to make life better. An opportunity to make better choices.
When I close my eyes I visualize a life that is filled with love. One in which I enjoy myself regardless of the other distractions of life. Grandma would tell me that finding faith in the Lord would be the key to that. Deep down I feel she is right. Need to find my way back to Him. Also know that my path to happiness is within. Everything I am not makes me everything that I am.
I want thank CL for hanging in there with me. You are the best and I love you with all my heart. Good days ahead, sweetie!
Trying to figure out how I am going to make it happen. Stop getting in my own way. Start counting my blessings. Great relationship, good family, employed, and healthy. That means that today is a chance to make life better. An opportunity to make better choices.
When I close my eyes I visualize a life that is filled with love. One in which I enjoy myself regardless of the other distractions of life. Grandma would tell me that finding faith in the Lord would be the key to that. Deep down I feel she is right. Need to find my way back to Him. Also know that my path to happiness is within. Everything I am not makes me everything that I am.
I want thank CL for hanging in there with me. You are the best and I love you with all my heart. Good days ahead, sweetie!
3.30.2009
3.29.2009
Passing Notes
What’s up y’all!
At the beginning of this year, I declared that this year was going to be all about personal growth for me. Well, as of this moment it has been a colossal fail. I am still dealing with the same issues from 2008, 2005, and hell 2003. Remember that long lists of things that should not have made it into 2009? Some of that shit has crept in the back door.
They say of the first step towards solving your problems is acknowledging that you have one. In that spirit, I want to publicly say that I love being in a relationship and I can be good at starting new ones but I am horrible when it comes to maintaining a good healthy relationship. The first reason is that I am the quintessential Gemini. I can be in my own world and space and not give enough energy or time to the relationship. I can be moody and not easy to get along with. I can be selfish and all about me. You are probably saying that is true for most of us. Yes, but for me that can all happen in one day. Hell, I’ve never claimed to be a day at the beach. Lately, my issues have seemingly multiplied in intensity. Work-related stress and beating myself up over things that aren’t going right have put me in a state of depression. That’s one reason why I haven’t posted anything worthwhile in such a long time. Nobody wants to hear a grown man whine about anything so I’ve been dealing with things on my own. Let’s just say that hasn’t been working out like I had hoped.
So that brings me back here to the blogisphere to air my dirty laundry and try to find resolution. I will be using this space to vent on some of my more personal issues that I would never have put out there in the past. I’m sure it will cost me some of the five or six readers that I currently have but I feel like this is a serious crossroads for me.
Peace,
Krush
At the beginning of this year, I declared that this year was going to be all about personal growth for me. Well, as of this moment it has been a colossal fail. I am still dealing with the same issues from 2008, 2005, and hell 2003. Remember that long lists of things that should not have made it into 2009? Some of that shit has crept in the back door.
They say of the first step towards solving your problems is acknowledging that you have one. In that spirit, I want to publicly say that I love being in a relationship and I can be good at starting new ones but I am horrible when it comes to maintaining a good healthy relationship. The first reason is that I am the quintessential Gemini. I can be in my own world and space and not give enough energy or time to the relationship. I can be moody and not easy to get along with. I can be selfish and all about me. You are probably saying that is true for most of us. Yes, but for me that can all happen in one day. Hell, I’ve never claimed to be a day at the beach. Lately, my issues have seemingly multiplied in intensity. Work-related stress and beating myself up over things that aren’t going right have put me in a state of depression. That’s one reason why I haven’t posted anything worthwhile in such a long time. Nobody wants to hear a grown man whine about anything so I’ve been dealing with things on my own. Let’s just say that hasn’t been working out like I had hoped.
So that brings me back here to the blogisphere to air my dirty laundry and try to find resolution. I will be using this space to vent on some of my more personal issues that I would never have put out there in the past. I’m sure it will cost me some of the five or six readers that I currently have but I feel like this is a serious crossroads for me.
Peace,
Krush
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