If finding me means losing you is it really worth it?
Along this journey called life I have found that one of the most difficult things for me to do is to find the balance of my growth and our growth. Sometimes these two things are going in opposite directions. In any relationship, it’s important that each person is a separate entity equipped with their own goals, accomplishments, friends, and private time. Blinding all of that together in a way that leaves both people “happy” can be damn near impossible. This I know first hand. I’m going through a breakup now. BTW, does anybody know why only the bad breakups end cut and dry and the good relationships seem to linger on forever?
My girlfriend broke up with me because she thought that I could grow more on my own instead in a relationship with her. I agreed. We both had gotten tired of bumping our heads on the same wall. However, that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
So here I am trying to grow as an individual while failing as a boyfriend. Again.
The first thing I did was find something to take up all of my free time. I joined a gym near my job so that I can get a good workout instead of coming home to watch television every night. I started reading my bible on a daily basis to work on my spiritual health. Lastly, I have spent more time with friends that I neglected while in a relationship. People are telling me that I’m looking better, happier, and god-willing smaller. All of that is well and good but on the inside I feel empty.
I know it takes time to get over things but who is going to make me laugh, kiss me slow or hold my hand in public in the meantime?